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39 Awesome Tips For Happy and Healthy Life

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5 Little Things That Will Improve Your Relationship



Happy couples know that good relationships take work. It’s a joint effort by both of you to keep a good thing going. But you don’t have to make grand gestures like sweeping them off to a second honeymoon to have a healthy relationship. Sometimes it’s the small things that make all the difference.
No matter how good things are with your partner, they can always be better. For couples who are looking to improve on their relationships, here are 5 little things that you can start doing right away.

5 LITTLE THINGS THAT WILL IMPROVE YOUR RELATIONSHIP

1. ELIMINATE “YES BUT” FROM YOUR VOCABULARY.

When your partner wants to do something that you don’t want to do, you can easily disappoint them by saying no to their request. “Yes but” is a little phrase that really means the same as saying “No.” The “but” is usually followed by an excuse for why you don’t want to do what your partner wants.
For example, if your partner wants to go for an afternoon of golf and you’d rather go to a movie, instead of saying “Yes but I want to go to a movie,” say “Yes, AND then we can go see a movie after we golf.” With “Yes and,” you both get what you want and you have two activities that you can share in.

2. LET THE LITTLE THINGS GO.

In a relationship, it’s all about compromise. You can’t have your way all the time and neither can your partner. Accept that your partner has different preferences than you do, and that’s what makes them unique.
Avoid arguments by releasing the need to have things your way. When your partner wants something their way, let them have it. Don’t keep score either.
The same goes for the need to be right all the time. If your partner and you are arguing over what time your favorite TV show comes on, one of you is probably wrong. In the big picture of your relationship over your lifetime, you won’t still be debating this ten years from now, so let it go. Otherwise the nonstop arguments over little things could be the reason that you don’t have that ten year anniversary.

3. LISTEN INTENTLY.

Think about the last time that you heard someone speak who captured your full attention. Maybe it was a famous person making a speech about a topic that was interesting to you. Now think about the last time that your partner spoke to you. Can you even remember what they said? What was the difference in your attitude and behavior toward each speaker?
We speak at a slower rate than our minds are capable of processing information. As a result, while our partners are talking, our thoughts often wander to the little things that are important to us like what we could be getting done instead of listening to them talk.
Rather than disrespecting your partner by not giving them your full attention, practice active listening. Remove distractions like your cell phone, turn your body toward your partner make eye contact, and don’t interrupt them. As they speak, try to mentally summarize their meaning in your own words. When they finish, clarify that you understood what they were trying to communicate.

4. PLAY TOGETHER.

A study in The Family Journal found that relationship satisfaction was higher for couples who played together more frequently. The shared experiences of a fun time together create a bond that improves intimacy.
Play can be anything from a physical activity like a sport to movie night at home. Finding opportunities to have fun doesn’t have to be a planned activity either. Play with your partner could be as simple as sharing a laugh.
Find humor in everyday things that you can playfully tease your partner about. For example, have a laugh with each other over the fact that you almost poured orange juice into your cereal. If you two have an inside joke that no one else could understand, you share that private connection in your relationship.

5. EXPRESS GRATITUDE TO YOUR PARTNER.

Margaret Paul, Ph.D., author of Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By You? says that “Complaints create stress, while gratitude creates inner peace, so gratitude creates not only emotional and relationship health, but physical health as well.” Reducing stress is a great reason to appreciate your partner.
Focusing on positives rather than negatives also improves your attitude toward your partner. If your spouse just fixed the dishwasher but left a mess of tools and dirty parts on the counter, focus on the good and not the bad. Instead of saying “Why can’t you put your tools away where they belong?,” say “It’s wonderful to have a loving partner who can fix things when they break.” When your words express what’s going right in your relationship, your thoughts agree with them.


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SHHH, KEEPING YOUR GOALS A SECRET MAY HELP YOU TO ACHIEVE THEM.




We’ve all done it at least once, come up with that great idea or plan and exuberantly have told everyone we know about it. I’m going to write a book, get fit at the gym for that marathon, start a new inspired school for the town! No harm in sharing the excitement right? Shouldn’t you announce your goals, so friends can support you? Isn’t it good networking to tell people about your upcoming projects? Shouldn’t you visualize the goal as already yours and state your intention in lines with the ‘law of attraction’?

Don’t do it! Tests done show that people who talk about their intentions are less likely to make them happen. Announcing your plans to others simply satisfies your self-identity just enough that you’re less motivated to do the hard work needed.

NYU psychology professor Peter Gollwitzer has been studying this since his 1982 book “Symbolic Self-Completion” and recently published results of new tests in a research article, “When Intentions Go Public: Does Social Reality Widen the Intention-Behavior Gap?”

He stated that in 1933, researchers found that if a person announced the solution to a problem, and was acknowledged by others, it was now in the brain as a “social reality”, even if the solution hadn’t actually been achieved.

“(Take) a mother who talks about all the great things she’s going to do for her kids — help them do better in school, get better test scores, give them extra training — while all the other mothers nod in approval,” says Gollwitzer . “The chances are high that she won’t do as much as she could to achieve those goals because she’s already viewed as an ideal mother just by sharing her wonderful intentions.”

He explains the intentions function as a symbol of possessing the desired identity. This is evident in the statement of a “high-order goal,” such as losing weight to become a healthier person, but not in planning to drop three pounds to fit into a dress.

Whether you plan to cure cancer, lose weight or be the world’s best parent, results of a the study suggest you’d do well to keep your mouth shut about it. And not just to avoid annoying other people either. Researchers report that when dealing with identity goals — that is, the aspirations that define who we are — sharing our intentions doesn’t necessarily motivate achievement.

On the contrary, a series of experiments shows that when others take notice of our plans, performance is compromised because we gain “a premature sense of completeness” about the goal.

In a time when funding is scarce and we often have to go public with our plans in order to get them off the ground and over sharing on Facebook is rife, the decision to reveal all needs to be carefully considered as a long-term tactic.

In the research four different tests of 63 people found that those who kept their intentions private were more likely to achieve them than those who made them public and were acknowledged by others.

It may seem unnatural to keep your intentions and plans private, but try it. If you do tell a friend, make sure not to say it as a satisfaction “I’ve joined a gym and bought running shoes. I’m going to do it!”, but as a high order goal and in dissatisfaction “I want to lose 20 pounds, so kick my ass if I don’t, OK?”

So this New Year when you are setting your new goals and plans. Keep them to yourself. Follow this and success could be just a shhhh away.

Have you ever announced your great plans and never completed them? How did it make you feel?

Thank You For Reading
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11 Life Changing Lessons To Learn From Steve Jobs



When you think of Steve Jobs, you probably think of Apple, and all the revolutionary products the company has brought to market in recent decades. However, the former CEO of Apple left a lot more behind than just a line of exceptional tablets and phones. He was a born visionary, one of the most influential men of this century, choosing to see the world in a different light, and striving for excellence in everything he did.
He always lived life according to his ideals, not the ones the world had already decided on. He followed his heart, leaving no stone left unturned. We could learn a great deal from the powerful lessons he left behind, and use his inspiring words in our own lives today.

HERE ARE 11 LIFE CHANGING LESSONS TO LEARN FROM STEVE JOBS:


1. LIVE LIFE BY YOUR OWN RULES.

“Your time is limited, so don’t waste it living someone else’s life. Don’t be trapped by dogma – which is living with the results of other people’s thinking. Don’t let the noise of others’ opinions drown out your own inner voice. And most important, have the courage to follow your heart and intuition.”
“If you want to live your life in a creative way, as an artist, you have to not look back too much. You have to be willing to take whatever you’ve done and whoever you were and throw them away.”

2. ALWAYS FOLLOW YOUR HEART, NO MATTER WHERE IT TAKES YOU.

“Your work is going to fill a large part of your life, and the only way to be truly satisfied is to do what you believe is great work. And the only way to do great work is to love what you do. If you haven’t found it yet, keep looking. Don’t settle. As with all matters of the heart, you’ll know when you find it.”
“Remembering that you are going to die is the best way I know to avoid the trap of thinking you have something to lose. You are already naked. There is no reason not to follow your heart.”

3. GIVE YOUR BEST EFFORT IN EVERYTHING YOU DO IN LIFE.

“Be a yardstick of quality. Some people aren’t used to an environment where excellence is expected.”
“Quality is more important than quantity. One home run is much better than two doubles.”

4. DON’T LET MONEY DEFINE YOUR EXISTENCE.

“Bottom line is, I didn’t return to Apple to make a fortune. I’ve been very lucky in my life and already have one. When I was 25, my net worth was $100 million or so. I decided then that I wasn’t going to let it ruin my life. There’s no way you could ever spend it all, and I don’t view wealth as something that validates my intelligence.”
“My favorite things in life don’t cost any money. It’s really clear that the most precious resource we all have is time.”
“Being the richest man in the cemetery doesn’t matter to me. Going to bed at night saying we’ve done something wonderful, that’s what matters to me.”

5. DON’T EVER STOP DREAMING BIG.

“For the past 33 years, I have looked in the mirror every morning and asked myself: ‘If today were the last day of my life, would I want to do what I am about to do today?’ And whenever the answer has been ‘No’ for too many days in a row, I know I need to change something.”
“I want to put a ding in the universe.”
“Innovation distinguishes between a leader and a follower.”

6. USE YOUR FAILURES TO DRIVE YOU TOWARDS SUCCESS.

“Sometimes life hits you in the head with a brick. Don’t lose faith.”
“I’m convinced that about half of what separates successful entrepreneurs from the non-successful ones is pure perseverance.”

7. SEE THE SILVER LINING IN EVERY DARK CLOUD.

“No one wants to die. Even people who want to go to heaven don’t want to die to get there. And yet death is the destination we all share. No one has ever escaped it. And that is as it should be, because Death is very likely the single best invention of Life. It is Life’s change agent. It clears out the old to make way for the new.”
“I didn’t see it then, but it turned out that getting fired from Apple was the best thing that could have ever happened to me. The heaviness of being successful was replaced by the lightness of being a beginner again, less sure about everything. It freed me to enter one of the most creative periods of my life.”

8. BELIEVE IN WHAT YOU’RE DOING SO MUCH THAT OTHER’S OPINIONS ARE IRRELEVANT.

“I have a great respect for incremental improvement, and I’ve done that sort of thing in my life, but I’ve always been attracted to the more revolutionary changes. I don’t know why. Because they’re harder. They’re much more stressful emotionally. And you usually go through a period where everybody tells you that you’ve completely failed.”

9. DON’T GIVE UP YOUR FAITH IN PEOPLE.

“I’m an optimist in the sense that I believe humans are noble and honorable, and some of them are really smart. I have a very optimistic view of individuals.”

10. NEVER STOP BEING CURIOUS.

“I think if you do something and it turns out pretty good, then you should go do something else wonderful, not dwell on it for too long. Just figure out what’s next.”
“Creativity is just connecting things. When you ask creative people how they did something, they feel a little guilty because they didn’t really do it, they just saw something. It seemed obvious to them after a while.”

11. AND AT THE END OF THE DAY, KEEP IT ALL INTO PERSPECTIVE.

“Remembering that I’ll be dead soon is the most important tool I’ve ever encountered to help me make the big choices in life. Because almost everything – all external expectations, all pride, all fear of embarrassment or failure – these things just fall away in the face of death, leaving only what is truly important.”
“Things don’t have to change the world to be important.”
“I’m as proud of many of the things we haven’t done as the things we have done. Innovation is saying no to a thousand things.”

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5 Fears Holding You Back From The Life Of Your Dreams


Worry is like paying interest on a debt that we don’t yet owe. It’s useless, wasteful, and ridiculous, yet all of us do it. Why?
Well, it’s important to note that worry stems from fear, an evolutionary emotion with which all of us are familiar. While fear can certainly save us from entering a dangerous situation, it can also prevent us from pursuing a life changing opportunity. More often than not, it’s fear that keeps us from applying for our dream job, boarding an airplane, or falling in love.
One thing is for certain, the more power we give fear, the more it lords over us. By identifying our most common fears, specifically as they relate to going after what we want, we give ourselves an opportunity to stare them down, face them head on, and ultimately, take away their power. Here I list 5 fears that are holding you back right now from living the life of your dreams.
1. Fear of Wasting Time. Ah yes, time. The most valuable resource we have and the most precious gift we can give. It makes sense that we’re afraid to waste it. But consider this, has going after your dreams ever really been a waste of time? We must recognize that going after our dreams inherently involves challenging ourselves, pushing past our comfort zones, and striving to be the best we can be. How could that ever be a waste of time?
2. Fear of Going Broke. Closely related to the fear of wasting time is the fear of going broke. Let’s face it… time is money. It’s understandable, then, to be concerned about money while in the midst of pursuing our dreams. Especially when said pursuit doesn’t pay. But the solution is simple; keep your day job until it does. Cut back on frivolous activities like watching TV or posting Instagram Selfies. Instead, spend your free time carving out the life of your dreams.
3. Fear of Being Inadequate. Psychologists call this the “Imposter Syndrome”. It’s an internal experience of chronic self-doubt characterized by feeling like a fake. Sound relatable? Just remember, simply because we feel inadequate, doesn’t mean that we are. This is especially the case when surrounded by information that indicates the opposite is true. Chances are good that if the dream is truly embedded in your heart, you’re as likely a candidate as anyone to make that dream a reality.
4. Fear of Failure. Also known as the fear of not being successful. Of course, any endeavor into which we pour our time, energy, and resources, we want (and maybe even expect) to be successful. But alas, this isn’t always the case. Not at first try, anyway. Ask yourself this, what is my definition of success? If I don’t make any money from it, did I fail? If people don’t enjoy it, was it pointless? Any person who is truly successful in their field will tell you that failure is merely a stepping stone. The only real failure is not having tried at all.
5. Fear of Success. Perhaps more common than the fear of failure is the much more deep-rooted fear of success. As Marianne Williamson famously wrote, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.” All too often we sit on the verge of success listening to that small, insecure voice as it whispers, “Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, and fabulous?” When the real question is… who are you not to be?

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Five Common Mistakes Leaders Make


Leaders are prone to take risks and those risks may cause others to see them as ‘losers,’ especially if the leaders don’t have full knowledge of what the endeavor consists of before they become involved. Some mistakes come from thinking so radically that it’s impossible to know how taking a chance will turn out. If it turns out well, the leader is a hero. If not, serious consequences may be the result.
There are some common mistakes made among most leaders that are avoidable if you know some leadership strategies. Here are five common mistakes which can and should be avoided if you’re in a leadership role:
  1. Focusing on tasks rather than reaching the ultimate goal. Focusing too much on “busy work” can keep you from getting the results you want and desire from a team. Great leaders tend to focus on the end results being reached more than looking or being busy at all times.
  2. Checking up on employees rather than engaging them. Make it a point to get to know your team members and engage them in conversation which can pinpoint what makes them tick. It’s important to get your vision across, and you can’t do that if you merely check in once in a while.
  3. Don’t stick to your own leadership style. You can learn from other leaders in history and in your business, but don’t mimic them when it comes to your leadership style. Develop your own and stick to it to become a leader who stands out from the others.
  4. Resist change. Many leaders tend to do what they’ve always done in terms of leading. One reason is that they’re too overwhelmed with the complex tasks and responsibilities that leaders must take on. If you want your business or team to prosper and grow, take some time to expose yourself to new ideas that will impact your leadership ability in a positive way.
  5. Hire people too fast to fill a slot. Hiring someone just to fill a void isn’t a good way to build a team you can count on. You’ll invest time and effort in managing the “new hire,” but may eventually need to let him go if you find you’ve made a mistake in hiring. True leaders take their time when hiring and make sure they can complete the work and grow along with the company or team.
Know what’s expected of you in the leadership position. You can’t lead others if you don’t know what you’re striving for, so be sure you’re clear and focused on the vision rather than the small tasks of the job.

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Overcoming Your Fear Of Public Speaking


Ask anyone attending networking events, in fact ask anyone in business what they fear the most and the answer most often given is public speaking, people are afraid of public speaking. Yet public speaking is not a modern day concept, the ancient Greeks held public speaking forums, and even before then and throughout history it is known to have existed.
For today’s speaker there seems to be this almost unnatural foreboding associated with speaking in public, people are worried about forgetting what to say, of offending people, of not saying what they have planned to say, they are afraid of the attention and well everything the imagination can conjure up, it seems.
However, that sense of foreboding does not have to exist, it’s actually more a myth than it is, a reality. People today are searching for answers, hope, inspiration as well as motivation and change in their lives. For this reason, the public speaker has everything going for them.

Why People Freeze When Speaking

There are numerous reasons why people freeze when speaking, and the biggest reason is fear:
  • Fear of making a mistake
  • Fear of embarrassment
  • Fear of offending someone in the audience
  • Fear of not being able to answer a question and give up credibility
  • Fear of failure
  • Fear of freezing up and forgetting what you were going to say
Some of these fears are understandable, and when considered all together as a whole, it is no wonder why an individual speaker would freeze up. However, there are many ways to overcome these fears.

How to Overcome Your Fears of Public Speaking

Make sure you know your subject matter

If you know everything there is to know about LinkedIn and how best to use it to get business, you would not talk about how to catch fish with a particular lure, because you wouldn’t have sufficient knowledge in the subject. Therefore stick to those subjects that you are well versed in, and this will give you the confidence you need to get up and get out there.

Practice makes perfect

Although it may sound corny, it does help to practice in front of a mirror and even your family, friends, and neighbors before trying it out with a live audience. By doing so, this will give you much-needed rehearsal and the opportunity to pick and choose the inflections and tone of your voice. It also embeds confidence in you to believe in yourself and in your ability to deliver your speech.

Keep helping others as your focus

If you go out there and focus on yourself rather than the message you have to put out, you will most likely freeze up. When you make it about helping others, and simply about sharing your knowledge you are in the giving mode and not the receiving mode.

Rehearse some worst-case scenarios

Things sometimes I go wrong speaking, that’s a fact but if you if you rehearse some worst case scenarios before speaking publicly, you will almost certainly find that nothing even close to those scenarios will happen. This gives you confidence for next time you speak, and by being prepared you will never be caught unawares.
Putting these tips into practice will help you to prepare yourself and give you the confidence you need to get your message out there and to speak in public. Once you’ve done it a few times, if you are like me you’ll learn to enjoy it and you’ll never fear public speaking again.


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8 Things To Remember When You Think You’re Not Good Enough


Negative self talk is something that seems to affect all of us at one time or another. I know I can say myself that it has been a problem in my past, and even now still creeps up on me from time to time.
We all have different reasons as to why we might think we are not good enough inside, whether it be because we think we can’t do something, we haven’t achieved enough or that we simply don’t have all the skills to make something happen. We may go through hard times or challenges and make them even harder as we start telling ourselves a series of stories as to how we got in this “mess” to begin with.
“I always have this happen to me.” “I will never be able to achieve what I want.” “It’s too hard for me to change.” “Others have it easier than me and are capable of more.”
The bottom line is, no matter what stories we tell ourselves, we can overcome any challenge we face as we wouldn’t be in it if we couldn’t overcome it. But, like you, I have been through a number of challenges in my life and have learned a lot along the way about overcoming these stories and that’s what I want to share today.

1. Your Mind Will Trick You & Even Scare You

I think back to when CE was first getting started. I was still working a job and I wanted to take things full time and really expand CE to the next level. Many of my friends and family already thought much of what I shared through CE was “weird” simply because it was different and challenged them. Leaving a good job to run a website wasn’t something many thought could work and because of the constant words of discouragement, I believed that at times too.
If what I was doing wasn’t about money how could I ever survive? How would I pay my bills and move forward in life? Something like this could never support me. These were many of the thoughts I not only heard from others but told myself. And until I pushed through them and took action, those stories did cripple me from moving forward. Even when I chose to move forward, thoughts still came in and my mind told me stories that things wouldn’t work, would fall apart and that I should be careful. Yet I’m still here..
Be smart with your choices, feel them out and go with what you feel inside. But don’t let your mind scare you from doing something.

2. People You Compare Yourself To Have Challenges Too

I’ve been through this one quite a few times. The people we often compare ourselves to; “I wish I was able to be as good as that person at something,” often have many challenges that you don’t see. While we think just because they may have or excel at something we think their lives are perfect, there’s a lot more to the story and often times “being” them isn’t going to suddenly make us happy. Not to mention it’s not about chasing things, achievements or happiness, it’s about allowing yourself to be YOU and allowing others to be themselves. We’re not all meant to be the same and each of us come with our own unique journey. Appreciate yours.

3. Your Impact On Others Is Always Powerful, No Matter How Many People You Affect

Sometimes we have cravings to really want to make an impact and we think we are too small or are incapable of helping to inspire others or change the world. Until we remember that no matter how big or small one’s actions are they still can change the world and affect others, we will always be chasing more.
People have shared their love and thanks with me many times about my work and what I’ve done to impact them, yet when I get caught up in thinking about how much MORE I could be doing, I don’t feel peace about what I’m doing now. Sometimes a simple act of being kind to someone can impact another in a way that affects 1000 more. Don’t underestimate and play down your own individual power.

4. You Are Exactly Where You Need To Be

“When I finally get beyond ‘this’ or get good at ‘this’ I will be happy and ready to go!” How many times have we said that about something? Again it can come down to comparing ourselves to others. It’s a cycle we get in where we look at where we are now and simply think it’s not good enough. Trust where you are. It’s perfect for you. It doesn’t mean you don’t take action and simply ‘chill’ where you are. No, instead be at peace inside about where you are, accept it and take steps to continue moving forward but be patient with yourself. You will get to where you need to be. Enjoy the journey of it all, focus less on the result.

5. When You Get To Where You Think You Should Be, You Still Won’t Have Peace Unless..

Peace and happiness is an inside job. It’s partly why I don’t like to use the word “happy” too often. We get caught up in chasing it and we always use external things to feel it. It’s an emotion, not a state of being. It has an opposite and that opposite is sadness. We often set up conditions for our happiness. If I do this, have this or become this I will be happy, if not, I’m sad. Peace or what we could call ‘true happiness’ is something that isn’t about what we do but our state of being. It’s about kicking out all the stories and patterns that keep us out of peace, our natural state.

6. Negative Self Talk Is Not Going To Make Things Better & Can Be Addictive

This is another big one that is very common. Very much related to what’s been mentioned already, getting into negative self talk and doing it consistently doesn’t make anything better and usually only makes things worse. But we get so addicted to it. It becomes like a habit where the first thing out of our mouths when someone asks us something about what we are doing or how we feel is a negative piece about yourself.
Considering there is no purpose to negative self talk other than to maybe you that you about self-love, kick the habit. Start observing how often you do it and then make an effort to stop before you start next time. Soon enough you won’t even have the thoughts coming to your head anymore.

7. You Are Not What You Do

So many times we get caught up in the idea that if we do something, we will suddenly have more value and thus when we don’t do something or don’t achieve something we feel worthless or not good enough. But, we are not what we do. That does not make up who we are and our “achievements” don’t make us any better or worse of a person. Sure, it’s OK to be pleased with yourself if you did something great, but it isn’t about making that part of your identity and then suddenly feeling like you have more value. Likewise when we don’t do or haven’t done something, it does not make us any better or worse. If you’re waiting for that moment of completing something to feel worthy, you might be waiting a lifetime.

8. Take A Moment, Think Of How Awesome You Truly Are

Finally, just take a moment and think about you as a being. No doubt you’ve done some awesome things in this life time, but can you say that to yourself? Instead of defining so much about you as being “bad” or focusing on times you weren’t happy with yourself, ask yourself why you even feel that way about yourself to begin with? Why do you feel that because you aren’t a certain way that you are not worthy or good enough? Challenge yourself to explore and find answers to this, you will learn a lot about yourself. When you understand how your belief systems work, you can also learn how to kick them. Then simply look at yourself from a neutral stand point and see the true brilliance of yourself. You are not the stories your mind makes up about you.

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The ‘Muscle of the Soul’ may be Triggering Your Fear and Anxiety


The psoas major muscle (pronounced “so-as”) is often referred to as the deepest core, or as yoga therapist and film-maker Danielle Olson states, the “muscle of the soul.” This core-stabilizing muscle located near the hip bone affects mobility, structural balance, joint function, flexibility, and much more. In addition to its function to help keep the body upright and moving, the psoas is believed to allow you to connect with the present moment especially when it is stretched out and tension is released from the body.
Research indicates that the psoas is vital to our psychological wellbeing in addition to structural health. Liz Koch, author of The Psoas Book, states that our psoas “literally embodies our deepest urge for survival, and more profoundly, our elemental desire to flourish.” This means that there is a lot more to the psoas than one might initially think. It is entirely possible to harness healing pranic energy and improve mental health by keeping the psoas healthy.

Where is the Psoas?

The psoas is the principal muscle associated with physical stability. It stretches from the legs to the spine and is the only muscle connecting the legs to the spinal column. The muscle flares out from the T12 vertebrae, follows down the five lumbar vertebrae, before attaching to the top of the thigh bone.
The Reptilian Connection
In addition to connecting the legs and spine, the psoas is connected to the diaphragm. Breathing is modulated at the diaphragm, and it is also the location where many physical symptoms associated with fear and anxiety manifest. Koch believes that this is due to the direct link between the psoas and the most ancient part of our brain stem and spinal cord, called the reptilian brain.
According to Koch, “Long before the spoken word or the organizing capacity of the cortex developed, the reptilian brain, known for its survival instincts, maintained our essential core functioning.” The way we live today, constantly rushing, competing and achieving, has the psoas in a constant “fight or flight” state.
psoas
Issues Associated with Chronic Psoas Stress
Trapped in a constant “flight or fight” state, psoas muscles are stressed and constricted, almost from the time of birth. As Koch notes, “this situation is exacerbated by many things in our modern lifestyle, from car seats to constrictive clothing, from chairs to shoes that distort our posture, curtail our natural movements and further constrict our psoas.” This lifelong chronic stress put on the psoas can lead to many problems like back, hip, or knee pain, and even digestive issues and dysfunctional breathing. It could also be a major cause why people suffer from chronic physical pain.
The physical body is not the only part of you that suffers from a chronically-stressed psoas. The psoas is much more than a muscle used for structural stability. It influences every element of life, from how you feel, to how you look at the world, and even how you treat others. A variety of problems have been associated with a chronically-stressed psoas muscle: it can negatively affect your emotional state; it can impact your interpersonal relationships; and it can influence your general contentment with life. Awareness that a healthy psoas is important to emotional wellness, as well as physical health, is the first step towards ensuring that we give this muscle the attention it deserves.
Koch states, “Whether you suffer from sore back or anxiety, from knee strain or exhaustion, there’s a good chance that a constricted psoas might be contributing to your woes.”
Fear and the Psoas
Since the psoas is closely linked to our “fight or flight” mechanism, fear can be over-represented in those with a constricted psoas.
It is an emotion that manifests itself in the most unusual ways and can “lock” itself into the body resulting in both physical and emotional tension. By restoring balance to your psoas muscles, you are likely to release this pent up tension, which can have a profound effect on releasing unfounded fearfulness about life, and thus improve both your physical and mental wellbeing. You will feel a greater sense of inner peace, along with fewer muscle aches and strains.
The Connection to the Energetic Body
Lengthening and releasing your psoas grounds you to the Earth, which is filled with healing and revitalizing energy, thus allowing you to balance your pranic energy and enabling you to feel more present in the moment. Proper structural stability attributed to a healthy psoas allows prana to flow, unimpeded, throughout the body, allowing for proper distribution of vital energy. In the physical sense, when the body can properly support itself, movement is less-restricted and requires less effort, thus leaving you more energetic.
Ancient Wisdom for Modern Times
Our understanding of the psoas is by no means new knowledge. In fact, it is more akin to ancient wisdom that was either lost or discarded over time. Yoga shows us explicitly that ancient gurus understood the importance of releasing contracted psoas muscles. Ancient yoga asanas, or postures, that are now practiced all around the world, focus on lengthening and releasing psoas muscles and restoring comfort and balance to the entire body. With consistent practice, you can learn how to isolate this muscle, which can be immensely useful and healing in the long run.
Yoga is also a great way to measure the current health of the psoas. There are many postures, such as tree (Vrksasana), which cannot be properly achieved if the psoas is contracted. If you are practicing a sitting or standing yoga pose and feel strain in either your knees or lower back (or both), then there’s a good chance that your psoas is constricted and needs more of your attention.
The psoas is an important, yet often unknown, muscle that plays a vital role in physical health and mental wellbeing. The cumulative effect of neglecting this muscle is physical and mental stress and tension, which manifests itself in our society as anxiety, depression, chronic back pain, knee pain, digestive distress, respiratory problems, etc.


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